Anxiety & Depression Update!

Okay, so this last week has been the best week I've had in like more than a month. I think this has to do because I started my sophomore year at FSU. Unfortunately, it is all online due to the pandemic, I'm glad I have something to distract myself. For me, I have found it hard to be interested or motivated to do things like going out or reading a book. But school has forced me to focus on one thing, even though Zoom literally hates me. But yeah, I've been doing pretty good and I'm so grateful and thankful. Of course I have had moments of anxiousness and sadness, but I can't expect them to just go away.

I have seen my psychiatrist and therapist. Yes, I see both of them because my anxiety/depression was so bad that I had to get on medicine. Honestly, a therapist helps so much more compared to a psychiatrist. I think everyone should go to a therapist at least once in their life because it really helps get stuff off your chest. Anyways, they have helped me realize that my "physical symptoms" are most likely side effects of the medication I've been taking. I knew most medication had side effects, but damn I felt like everything at one time, it sucked. So I am having to adjust my meds which I don't mind because I don't want to stay on them. When I saw my therapist, I realized I have to go to the chiropractor lol. I hate going to them because they mess with your neck and I have a weird thing with that (scared they going to snap it, lmao). She said it would help with the stress/tension in my body plus I have back problems. She also said something that deep breathing, making a schedule/routine, and saying a mantra is important. Being in the present is essential when going through an attack or episode.

I will say I still have moments of sadness and frustration which is understood. Going through anxiety and depression is exhausting in every way. Just last night, I saw a snippet of a 60 Minutes episode where this man described how his son *trigger warning* committed suicide because of his anxiety and depression. It made me pretty upset, not because I would do that, but because some people get to a point in their lives where they can't handle it anymore. I could never do that to my family and friends. But I understand being consumed by something that feels so out of your control.

It is still hard and I am still dealing with it everyday. Take it one day at a time. :)